Working on My Mood More

 So it turns out, my ideas for influencing my mood to feel good didn't work that well.  I felt "smarter" and more clear-eyed, when I did my exercise...but that wasn't the point.  I'm not trying to get smarter and wiser, I'm trying to feel good.

Maybe I'm mistaken.  Maybe I should focus on mood things that aren't naive.  But that wasn't my goal.  I don't think I want to do that.  I need to figure out a way to feel more at ease and happy/tender-minded.  I want to enjoy just standing around outside and thinking.  "Getting wiser" and "trying to teach myself life lessons" is an irrelevant endeavor.  I'm already a very good person, with tons of wisdom and maturity and excellent behavior.  Realizing that is important; I need to work on feeling OK and good.  My character and perceptiveness are fine and good enough, I don't need to be perfect.

So, it's back to the drawing board.  I think I should try something other than "lying down on the bed and thinking."  The key is, I need some sort of routine that *provokes joy* in me, maybe via some sort of media consumption, not something that "gets me thinking and ruminating" over important, challenging things.  I'm already a very good life-long learner, and learning economics is great...I've been paused at reading M-W-G for now, but I'm almost certain to come back to it later.  I need to do more than learn, I need to feel good!  I will be thinking about how to do that in the coming days and weeks.

Also, I hope the code signals at H-E-B were trustworthy!  I'm cautiously looking forward to May 19.  I hope I'm not just being delusional about a coincidence.

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