My Bipolar "Oil Futures" Career That I Feel Drawn To Going Into

 

I remember Dr. Radin's comment about "bipolar people who say 'I'm going into oil futures.'"  I wrote in another post about how I believe that that happens because of daydreaming.


Here's my latest career daydream...I am thinking I would like to go back to school in economics, do some research for a while, and then one day be the Secretary of Defense under a liberal President.  That might be a foolish pipe dream--I would probably chat about that with a therapist one day when I'm able to talk fully about the version of reality that I am faced with without facing skepticism--but it sounds appealing.


I know what direction I would take the US Department of Defense in.  There's no need to explain how I would approach it now.  In general, though, I suspect that real life will pull me in a very different direction...but it feels like a desirable career goal.


Should my daydreams influence my career decisions?  Or should I learn to just take care of myself while I'm in isolation, keep my life quiet (like John Nash's) and simple, and stay away from big flashy daydreamed careers?


I tend to think I will probably indeed do something much quieter than being the Secretary of Defense.  I might go to school for economics and do research and teach classes as an economics professor...but I don't think being the Secretary of Defense would be "quiet" enough for me.  Lately, I've been daydreaming about retirement.  I would like to retire someday, for sure!  How much achievement until it's enough?  Partly, since I've been publishing some of my best ideas as blog posts and not research articles, I feel like I haven't really accomplished anything...I've published brilliant ideas, but it's an echo chamber...I haven't received any credit yet.


I think I'll feel less drawn to "the oil futures of being the Secretary of Defense" once this ordeal is over.  So it's good that I wrote this post out...I learned from "discovery writing" that no, it wouldn't really be realistic for me to be the Secretary of Defense.  Sometimes my grandiose feelings are somewhat linked to reality, and sometimes they aren't.  I maybe *could* be the Secretary of Defense...but I don't think I would like it, so my motivation to achieve what I needed to achieve to get to that point would fizzle out before I was ready.


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